You are just a shift to me, shifting me closer to who I'm destined to be...
If I could describe you
You would be the disappointment I felt when I got my first F
Scared to tell my parents my best did not meet the expectations of what my professor viewed as perfect
Held to a higher standard because I had to be 2 times better than those who were not the same color as me for the same opportunity
and here you are just smiling in my face.
See, I would describe you as
the one I gifted my heart to and when I got it back
it was scattered like a one thousand piece puzzle with pieces that didn't match
because it camouflaged his lies and excuses damn near abusive antics
he seen me falling, but I had to pick myself back up.
You would be the entry level position I applied for when the only thing in my bank account was air and a prayer for more money to pay my bills and got rejected because I didn't have the 5 years of experience with a college degree even though my student loans were 3x more than the expected salary.
I, too, need to eat.
You would be the love I didn’t profess
Sacred, but aware that the connection we could share is
what people believe happens only in fairy tales.
If I could describe you,
I would say I love you and I hate you
because from you, I’ve evolved
You’ve transformed my pains,
prepared me for my future
No matter how many times you enter my life
You are just a shift to me
Shifting me closer to who I’m destined to be
You’ve hurt me, but you’re necessary