• Alicia Xiomara

complacency

I. Cant. Breathe.

What if I told you I’m scared?

Scared of complacency

Falling into the trap of this American dream that has bankrupted my happiness with a sea of debt so deep,

I can no longer feel the ground for safety,

no lifeguard to save me with water above my head and

I. Cant. Breathe.

As I attempt to exhale,

out goes my frustration of this dream that was not intended for me

It feels like a boulder is on my back and weighing me down pushing me further,

pushing me further,

pushing me further

to the ground until the air escapes my chest, legs weaken, and my dream is shattered like my iPhone when it kissed the concrete

I guess I should’ve did more squats

I. Cant. Breathe.

I’ve had 9 different addresses, moved to 4 different cites in 7 years

and some times still get that itch to uproot myself like the lumberjacks did to the rainforest in FernGully

Some call it unstable

I call it changing scenery

Something new to shift my focus from what the world has taught me

Unlearn what is said to be right, accurate, correct, precise by somebody else’s standards and not my own

Things that were engrained,

expected, but no longer served me as I’ve grown and opened my eyes to the depth of my emotions and seen the unseen

Letting go of the consistent inconsistency of people going and people coming when they please

Taking from me what was NOT theirs until

I. Cant. Breathe.

I wear my heart on my sleeve.. sometimes

I’m a giver

Smile so big you can see all of my teeth and what made me happy a month ago

My eyes can penetrate your soul deep enough to have you rethinking your life to make sure you’re doing it right

Complacency is the weed that tried to suffocate my dreams to the point I could not see my own potential because I failed to tend my garden of seeds I planted when I believed in myself.

With Love,

~Alicia Xiomara


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